Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Happy 2 year Gotcha day baby girl! We love you so much!

I am sitting here writing this and I really can not believe that it has now been two years since our Gotcha day. Two years ago at about this time, we were in our hotel room in Sofia learning to be a family of three. It had been seven long months between trips for us and the wait was excruciating. But, I can now say that everything worked out perfectly and from the moment we picked her up at the orphanage and I held her again, all the pain, frustration, and even anger at the process I felt all seemed to melt away and I was happier than I ever knew possible! It is unbelieveble how the time has flown. I waited so long (43 years) to be a mom and I can say for sure that it was definitely worth the wait and she has taught me and Daddy so much and given us so much more than I ever thought possible. I have never known a love so complete. Right now, I am thinking back and remembering that quiet, sweet, beautiful little girl who must have been absolutely terrified inside of all of the changes that were happening to her then, but you never would have known it. She truly is an amazing child and although she still has communication and speech issues, I know without a shadow of a doubt she knows everything that is being said to her and around her. She knows many words and phrases now and has started to become a typical child who will even argue back with you now. For example, the other night she wanted to wear the clothes she had worn during the day to bed because she loved the shirt she was wearing. She said holding it up I sweep? I replied, no honey we sleep in pajamas. She says again holding the said shirt tighter No I sweep in this. I say NO, you will sleep in you pajamas and you may wear that again tomorrow. That was the end of the conversation! She has come so far from what she was when she came home. At that time, she did not know how to be loved. She hardly ever said a word or even made very much noise at least that was very understandable anyway. She still will occasionally talk in what we call her Bulgarian babble. She would not seek help when she was hurt or sick. She hardly ever wanted to be go to bed at night. It was a constant struggle to get her to sleep. It was almost as if she was afraid she would wake up from a dream. And to this day will still occasionally fight sleep. But oh how she has blossomed into such a little sweetheart. When she calls me mama and puts her little hands on my cheeks and looks into my eyes, gives me her sweetest smile, and then leans in for a kiss, it completely melts my heart. She is such a precious little girl just full of giggles, happiness, and hugs and kisses. She adores cuddling and being tucked in and saying her prayers every night. She now knows so many more words. She now knows how to love and how to be loved. In spite of her speech delays she seems to have no problem understanding everything around her and is just such an observant little girl. She is a smart little girl who is working very hard to overcome the negative effects of her first 4 years. She had a rather rough start in life and my heart breaks to think of all she has been through and suffered. She has grown in every way possible. She is over 10 inches taller and around 15 pounds heavier but her emotional growth which can’t be measured has grown more than you can imagine! It is amazing to see what the love of family, good nutrition, and of course, God can do! I am just so grateful that God chose us to be her parents. I love her with all my heart and soul. Whatever God's plan is for her, she is and always will be the absolute light of my life. I would also like to thank all of you reading this for your friendship, love, prayers, and emotional support these past 3 years during our adoption process and hope it continues through our adoption of Kaleb. She has really just blessed us beyond anything we ever could have imagined. I made this video of our Metcha and Gotcha trips and included the link if anyone wants to watch it. I will warn you it is rather lengthy because I made it for her and I did take a lot of pictures. Some of my fellow Razgrad parents will appreciate seeing this I’m sure! The IU5 school she attends has done such wonders for her. I can’t believe she will be going to kindergarden this year. She will be going to a Lifeskills classroom as well as a regular classroom as much as they feel she can handle. I know she will done fine and God has great things planned for her! As for our process with Kaleb, most of you know I went on trip on March 1-8 with my sweet friend Wendy while Daddy stayed home with Kayti. Our I800 was approved and our Article 5 letter issued April 23, so the US part is now done and we wait for Bulgaria to finish the paperwork, get a signature from the MOJ, get a court date, and finally bring our boy home and complete our family. I try not to think about him too much right now sitting in the same situation that Kayti was and pray he will be ready to join his forever family when the time comes. The adoption process is definitely not for the faint of heart and is emotionally very difficult at times. Unless you have been through this, it is impossible to know how it feels to have your child across the ocean and you have no contact with them. I just try to stay focused on Kayti and how well she is doing and I smile and know God has already got this and he will be ok just as she was.